January 10th, 2007

Current Music: Radiohead Current Location: My house Subject: Day three! Time: 01:59 pm Current Mood: sore

Well I am on day three of loosing my fat WOW ass. Stupid computer games anyway. My body feels like it's been run over by a truck a few times but it's good to know I can still do a 6k road march. I think I figured something out on my hike today though. I used to be pissed off about a lot of shit back in the day but now I've pretty much come to terms with it all. It's a good think in a way but it also leaves something lacking. It just seems easier to torture yourself with exercize when your all emo and angsty. Now I actually have to push myself to do it. It's a good thing all in all but it makes it a little more difficult. OOOh wait, I know what will piss me off again! I'll quit smoking and get into politics, that'll piss anyone off. There again, that might set up to do something stupid. Wouldn't be the first time. DAMN THE MAN! Where's my gun?

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January 8th, 2007

Current Location: My house Subject: Weekend Time: 12:59 pm Current Mood: wonkey

I think I know why the decided to call our weekends "drill weekends". I sat in a briefing room for SIX HOURS, yesterday listening to EO, ROE, EPW, and and assortment of other briefings! I'd rather have been in a dentist chair. Dooshbags, well at least that only has to happen once a year. So I think I am going to look for some part time employment untill I leave for Missouri in the spring. Somthing in the evening again I think. Just to get from here to there without going into too much debt. Bleh, I really don't want to go back to Ft. Lost-in-the-woods again. That place sucks donky balls. There again I'll probably look like that ^ l________ again so it isn't all bad :). Watch out ladies, muhahaha! Welp, not much else is going on, I'm going to be heading to the merc on fri. or sat. so let me know if anyone wants to go. So far it's gonna be don, alan, myself and a couple chicks that don knows.  Seek and destroy!

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November 8th, 2006

Current Location: Uranus Subject: Birthday thingy Time: 10:23 am Current Mood: groggy

Sooo, I am going to the premier of Blanchard Hill on saturday instead of the Merc like I first anticipated. The reason I am not doing both is because I have to escort my sister to wyoming and we leave this sunday morning. Either way, I am going out to the Sports Keg today for drinks with whoever wants to come out and hang, nothing special just friends chillin'. I may have something the weekend after next but I don't know. Either way, there it is.

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August 23rd, 2006

Time: 10:53 pm

You asked me a question once, what has you sweating when you wake up sweating in the middle of the night. You still wanna know? I been thinkin' about it. Thinkin' about it a lot, it's not the work, I love the work, I've always loved the work. It's the game, the game even. I was so good at it, I made sure all the right people liked me, at night I'd do the checklist in my mind. Am I cool with you, how about him?Am I cool with all the people tat can help me, am I cool with all the people that can hurt me? Everyone that thought I was weak or a looser?There was nobody that I was offending... Nobody that I loved... that gave me the edge. But guess what? There is somthing outside of the game, that is how to live, and you know what scares me even more? That I am going back in, forgive me, I'm going back in the game. I'll make you like me again. I'll do the work, I'll do all the work, just put me back in the game! I just want back in the game, look at me, just look at me, I just want you to take me for who I am. Please, don't hurt me, I just want you to believe in me again. Just believe in me again. I never wanted to hurt you. Just give me another chance....

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August 5th, 2006

Time: 10:14 pm Current Mood: high

Just gopt back from harborview. I burned the fuck out of my hand and had to go to the burn center. Fun stuff... I am high as hell on pain killers but I will post pics and add more of my painful and interesting adventure. Boo stupid burning, hooray hospitals and good friends and family!

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July 6th, 2006

Time: 07:48 am

The new spiderman trailer

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July 3rd, 2006

Current Music: derp Current Location: Alan's house Subject: Hi, I am still alive and this looked neat! Time: 01:04 pm Current Mood: mellow

LIVE TRUMPS 1.1 watch plkavitch fight CREATE YOUR CARD

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March 27th, 2006

Subject: more on the realiszation on balance. Time: 06:06 pm Current Mood: groggy

Upon further examination of the theory of the three spheres I have discovered what the third dimension is. It turns out it is not a dimension but rather a result of the interlocking of the three spheres, an equalateral triangle, the most stable structure or formula known to man. Here I have found the base or "core" of my idea. Thus proving that it is true that to achieve a perfect or near perfect balance there must be only the three because of what it represents in it's essence. balance and stability. To give a brief example of the many out there, and I choose this one because it relates to people more than theothers, the debate. When one person is solving a problem he goes with whatever he can come up with and what seems logical and correct in his own mind. When two people are trying to solve a problem there can be an eternal (and usually is) debate and argument about who is correct and who is incorrect. However, when a third person is added to the problem there can be resolution because you have a one more to offset one side or the other. This is the first number that is reach negative or positive that can achieve balance on a three dimensional scale. There is something further to this that still eludes me. I need to sleep and continue this idea once I have had sufficiant rest

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Subject: More on the theory of balance Time: 01:10 am Current Mood: hgjahkjle

HA! You guys thought that was cool, check this out... ok, so, the balance theory that I stumbled upon earlier in the day has expanded to encompass a more elaborate and diverse theory. It is compiled as such, Imagine if you will, three, interconnected, spherical and three dimensional objects. All of them rotating on their axis and in constant motion. Three rings connected to create the sphere connecting at six points. I choose six in order to also add another dimension within the sphere. Creating another dimensional aspect,a coned effect inside the spheres expanding not only in the positive but also in the negative, thus creating an invisible fourth dimension I like to think of as the "Quantum Foam" of my theory. I have yet to discover a way to define this added dimension but this is still a theory in progress. Regardless, this theory which I am sure makes little to no sense written out in just words can be summarized in a written schematic that I am still working through. That being said I am going to need a lot of help and information in order to elaborate and perfect my discovery of a revolutionary way to balance the most creative and destructive force on the planet; people. From the dawn of time (debated and debatable to different groups, religions, and ethnicities) we all have one thing in common. We are all imperfect true? We all make mistakes?Well this imperfection is created by the imbalance caused by the rigors and trials of the uncertainty of the world around us. The reason I believe that this balancing process is necessary has already been explained in my previous post. And there is a point in which we are all comfortable as far as the combining extremes of the positive and negative (think again of temperature) Although it is slightly different for all of us it is still attainable for everyone. Imagine temperature on a three dimensional scale rather than two, now break down the human psychological makeup and there you have it, MIND (sphere #1) BODY (sphere #2) SPIRIT (sphere #3) Now there are certain things in life that I can use as examples that everyone can understand. Example one, alcohol, not entirely destructive in nature, the abuse or imbalance of this substance can cause a great shift in our spheres. Take for example the physical aspect, loss of motor skills, very basic, hence the staggering and slurring of speech. The emotional aspect, instability, erratic change due to little or no outside stimulation, and general loss of control. Then the mental aspect comes into play, impaired judgment, lack of order, or the complete loss of memory all together. See what I mean? All are connected yet separate at the same time. Another major cause of imbalance is stress. Hence post traumatic stress disorder. Immersed in such a stressful environment as war, problematic and violent childhood, sexual assault, or any combination of stressors that may cause a violent shift in your own personal balance. Therefore what I am looking for is a way to return the order from the chaos, a way to control all the aspects of the human psyche. There are still holes that I have to fill and variables that have to be considered yet this is the basic concept. If anyone has any ideas let me know. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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March 26th, 2006

Current Music: Jimmy Hendrix Subject: Absolution Time: 09:06 am Current Mood: indescribable

There is a balance, a balance that has been distorted, it's so fucking obvious that I don't think many people realize it. #1 No matter how you look at it, there ARE absolutes. Not that they have not been transcended by certain individuals, they exist none the less. Example, we have all been too cold, true? We have all been too hot is this not also true? Weather or not we believe that this unbalance of something so simple to avoid it is still an absolute. Too cold can kill you and too hot can as well. Therefore proving that the lack of balance is not only dangerous, also, taken to the furthest extremes can be deadly. #2 There are enigmatic results to the decisions that you make, jump into a fire and your going to get burned, regardless of the reasons that you might immerse yourself in an inferno, you still are going to get burned. #3 We are all vulnerable to the imbalance of nature its self, life in it's imbalance like the aforementioned examples exist in many different avenues, think of this, emotions, chemicals, weight, or something as simple as simple or as common place as temperature. I don't really know what all that means but I was inspired to scrawl my thoughts upon the waves of this tool of free information and indulge myself in the thought, although fanciful it may be, the thought is still there that I am traveling upon a path of enlightenment that may finally come to a conclusion that is beneficial, to the people around me. Then again I may just need to be institutionalized.

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March 19th, 2006

Current Music: Monster Ballads baby! Time: 11:48 pm Current Mood: weird

I was rather surprised at the results from this test. I guess that's what I get for being honest. HELLISH Your life has been 77% difficult. It's possible you were joking when you took the test. If not, I'd like to say I'm sorry. Based on your family, money, political context, and personal situation -- during the important years of your development -- it appears your life was HELLISH. It...sucked. I hope you have a place to vent about this. A diary for example. Use ink, not blood. The "difficulty" of your life is a measure of how rough you've had it. Undoubtedly, you've struggled to survive. You therefore deserve the highest possible score: hellish. I have a new test! Straight males and gay/bi females, check out my brand new How Low Are Your Sex Standards Test My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on difficult Link: The How Difficult Is Your Life Test written by chicken_pot_pie on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

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March 9th, 2006

Time: 02:14 am

HA! I feel like a trend starter! Well even though Alan had an account b4 me, there are a lot of people on myspace now that wern't previously and now your all addicted!!!! Muhahaahaaa! NE way, I am feeling better about life thanks to all my awesome friends, you guys rock my face. Now to my other addiction, WoW. Dude, I am turning into the biggest geek!

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February 28th, 2006

Time: 05:11 am

FUCK! they shut down all the damn servers for WoW I am sooooo pissed off right now you guys!!!!!!

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February 25th, 2006

Current Music: some crappy music playing in the fucking hotel lobby! FUCK! Time: 11:27 pm Current Mood: annoyed

I don't want to be here now, I want to plug my stupid computer in and play games.... EVERYONE LEAVE!!!!

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February 20th, 2006

Time: 06:00 pm Current Mood: dead

I am so damaged, I need sleep but I am being defiant or however the fuck you spell that.

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February 14th, 2006

Subject: Happy VD I hope everyone gets it! Time: 05:36 pm Current Mood: amused

I wish the best to all in receiving/spreading their venereal diseases!

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February 13th, 2006

Tags: i don't like tags, i usually tear them off Current Music: ...makes me loose control Time: 04:28 am Current Mood: *DROOOOOL*

I think that the monkey running my brain finally had a heart attack

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February 12th, 2006

Time: 11:11 pm Current Mood: creepy

Hmmm update, I'm hiding in Rockport working at my parents house all next week. My brother and I are going to try and finish the remodel so it can be sold. The big V day plans I had are kind of shot now for reasons I wish not to disclose at this moment. But trust me, it's a VERY good reason. I feel like I have been hibernating for the last month even though I have gone out a time or two. I just feel like I haven't been connecting with anybody, that's weird for me. I guess working on the weekends kind of limits your interactions. That and being intoxicated when I am out and about doesn't help. I feel kind of like a ghost. I'm not dead am I? Cause that wouldn't surprise me if I really was a ghost. Creepy to think about.... being a ghost. You think your alive and interacting with people but your really not. *shudder* I'm gonna stop that now. So yeah, just sitting here at work being bored. I might wright some more later.

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January 22nd, 2006

Current Music: Crappy ass hotel musik... fucking hotel musik Time: 11:36 pm Current Mood: crappy

I feel like killing something, anyone have a busted ass tv that needs twelve-guaging? P.S. I'm sick That is all. Jesse Isn't going to type anymore. After this.

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Current Music: Godsmack - Stand alone Time: 01:12 pm Current Mood: enraged

FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GOING TO WAR IN IRAN!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! You fucking crazy FUCKS!

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